Design by PS
I enter the bar. There is one couple at one end of the bar and a guy sitting at the opposite end talking very loudly into his phone walkie talkie style. I sit myself in the middle so I can see both tv screens. There are about 5 empty seats on either side of me. I order a drink, catch up with the bar staff who I havenít seen since veggie boy and I parted ways and settle back to watch the baseball. Obnoxiously loud walkie talkie (OLWT) guy comes over, still talking into his phone and sits next to me. The bar staff raise their eyebrows and I roll my eyes. OLWT guy finishes his conversation and tells me that he moved to sit here so he could see the screen as he left his glasses at home, and that he would like to buy me a drink to apologise for talking so loud on the phone, I suggest he buys the whole bar a drink. I protest but give in after he insists.
OLWT guy begins talking to me and I answer with short responses not taking my eyes off the baseball. He then turns towards me, has his back to the screen and continues with his conversation. He tells me that he is in the police academy but not worry as his gun and handcuffs are in his car, but he does show me the handcuff key that he has on his belt clip. He tells me he has no friends, that he was in the airforce and that the airforce is for intelligent people who wish to be in the military. He tells me that when he entered the academy he lost most of his friends because they had criminal backgrounds and couldnít associate with him anymore. He tells me that he isnít rich but his grandparents are and so one day he will be. He tells me he loves older women, he is 4 years younger than me. The bar staff are just smirking at me. My accent just spurs him on to get me talking, then he asks the barman for a pen. Oh no donít go there, I think. He hands me his number with a note underneath it. It reads, meet me at 6.30pm Sunday at Tweeds for dinner. He leaves. Casey one of the bar staff comes up to me laughing. He tells me that OLWT guy was in the pub for an hour before I showed up and talked to him non stop and that he was glad that I came along so that OLWT guy had someone else to talk to. Jackie, that other person behind the bar suggested that I get one of my guy friends to show up on Sunday pretending to be me. She also told me that whenever she looked over at me it looked like I was mentally making a grocery list and cleaning out my wardrobe, definitely not interested in what OLWT guy was saying.
I know I said yesterday that I wanted to meet someone, but please, freaks need not apply oh unless you are freakishly funny and cool. Next time when I say I want to meet someone I will be a wee bit more specific.