I feel so sad this afternoon.. partly because i suck at science and partly cos i am lonely�.. i know i should just pack it all in and go home, but as much as i want to i don�t think i can, mostly because of the whole �not finishing what i started thing��. i hate it when i cry, makes me feel weaker than i already feel� i know i shouldn�t complain � again�

You know earlier this afternoon i after i got results back for this one experiment that i thought would work� ,kinda like the last ditched effort thing and of course it didn�t work, and i had to go to my bosses office and tell him, when i returned to my desk all i wanted was to drink� i figured that would make me feel better� and i think that is very bad, because for the last couple of weeks i have been drinking more and more. I like the way i feel when i am drunk. I don�t feel sad and i feel somewhat attractive and funny and pretty. I know i am substituting one thing for another. I am still horny as all hell for most of the day.. it�s what i would imagine guys with permanent hard ons feel like� and it doesn�t help that i work closely to the guy i had sex with the other night. Not that i want to be his girlfriend, but a friend with benefits would be kinda cool�.

Oh i really don�t know what i am blabbing on about, at least i am not on the verge of tears anymore � tonight i am going to the pub to a) have some beer, b) watch the red sox hopefully beat the Yankees and c) to see if that guy i picked up the other night returns�