Design by PS

dressing down part 1

so my entry today was going to be a letter to my poor plants in my attempted herb garden who need way more light than my apartment gets. but instead i will write about my imminent dressing down. today i had to submit an abstract for a meeting in december. this is the same meeting i went to last december only this year itís in dc and not san fransisco. so before i submitted it i showed it to my boss. he comes up to me and says Ďsometime early next week we really have to get together to go over your data because you have only added to bits of information to this project in a yearí. my response was Ďyeah ok, monday at 9am good for you?í. the thing is i know i have really slacked off, and the reason? i didnít care about science anymore. i donít know why i am continuing. actually thatís not true, i do know why i am still doing a job i donít have any passion for anymore. itís because i am scared to give it up and go back home with my tail between my legs. plain and simple. while i will be embarrassed at the time that i am getting told off, i will have the same attitude that i have now. i donít really care. itís quite sad actually because not only am i letting myself down, but i am also letting my boss and our group down. if i was in a big lab with lots of people then it wouldnít matter so much, but itís just the 4 of us, so i canít really hide behind a large group of people.

so on monday morning i will be in my bosses office, with all my notes and my 2 bits of extra data getting a severe talking to for being so slack. i deserve it i know, but it wonít change my attitude.

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