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bossy boots

last thursday night i was told i was bossy. dougie, the boy who told me i was bossy laughed as he said it. i wish i could remember the context. i was drunk and dougie was drunk. i do remember saying to him that no i wasnít bossy i was just australian and sometimes australians come off as abrasive. i didnít think about again that night as i got to dance with the 2 cutest 24 year olds at the pub we were at. i had just met dougie and chris (the cute 24 yo boys in question) that night through a work colleague. the young girlies were giving me the evil eye. one even came up to me and asked if i was familiar with the music and if i liked it. ummm i donít live in a bubble and itís not like i am an 80 yo in a pub, iím only 31, and i do look a few years younger than that, so why would i not be familiar with the music?

so anyway, i didnít think about the bossy comment again until yesterday and thatís when i began to have a mild panic attack. i am usually the first to point out my flaws, but i never considered bossy to be one of them. so what if i have all these other flaws that everyone else sees but i donít, and people donít tell you to your face, they just talk about them behind your back? what if i have a whole other personality to me that i donít know about? i wonder if it works with my good traits? do i have a whole bunch of good traits that others see that i donít see? the answer is probably yes, because i tend not to recognise the good traits in myself.

but wow, me bossy, i never thought i had the confidence to be bossy, there you go.