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returned
2004-12-10

so Iím back from d.c.

let me just be science geeky for a paragraph. it was the most unstimulating conference i have ever been to. when you go to these things, you expect to be wowed. you expect to hear brilliant people talk about cutting edge, brilliant science. it just didnít happen. it was a bunch of people talking themselves up. this conference fell so short of that, that i found myself talking to exhibitors. that is MAJOR. i did though have 2 guys trying to recruit me, which was an ego boost, i must admit, but not enough to make me reconsider not going back home permanently and not quitting science.

so when I got home, there was a message from veggie boy, a week after I left him the last message. I am assuming he forgot that I was going to d.c., given that he forgot to meet up with me even though he asked to, but thatís all forgotten ;). so his message was extremely disjointed, a ramble really, saying that we havenít spoken in a while (yeah, I wonder why?!?) and asking for me to call him. so I did, just to see how he is doing, and his cell phone is disconnected. so I leave a message at his home, but no nothing. should I really be surprised? he sounded like shite. I wonder how he would feel if he knew that I had to go home because my dad doesnít actually have gall stones but has a tumour?

I guess that brings me to the biggest thing that is worrying me at the moment. my dadís condition has worsened, he has a tumour. this is all I know. my mum (bless her soul) hasnít been able to relate anything else to me, so I will be flying back home within the next week. I am searching for the cheapest fare, and hope to be home by the end of next week. it will be easier not knowing anything there, than not knowing anything here. I will be able to ask the doctors my questions, rather than asking my mother and getting replies like ĎI donít know, they didnít tell meí. it will be easier not knowing anything sitting in the waiting room, or in his room, than all the way across the world.

my boss has been completely supportive. he told me that he understands if I have to go home, that if I need anything done in the lab, not to worry about it, that I should stay back home for as long as I need to. this is such a relief. while I would always take family over work, it is comforting to know that I donít have external pressure from my boss to get back to work asap.

despite how much I have bagged my dad in the past, I want him to be well.

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