so my entry today was going to be a letter to my poor plants in my attempted herb garden who need way more light than my apartment gets. but instead i will write about my imminent dressing down. today i had to submit an abstract for a meeting in december. this is the same meeting i went to last december only this year it�s in dc and not san fransisco. so before i submitted it i showed it to my boss. he comes up to me and says �sometime early next week we really have to get together to go over your data because you have only added to bits of information to this project in a year�. my response was �yeah ok, monday at 9am good for you?�. the thing is i know i have really slacked off, and the reason? i didn�t care about science anymore. i don�t know why i am continuing. actually that�s not true, i do know why i am still doing a job i don�t have any passion for anymore. it�s because i am scared to give it up and go back home with my tail between my legs. plain and simple. while i will be embarrassed at the time that i am getting told off, i will have the same attitude that i have now. i don�t really care. it�s quite sad actually because not only am i letting myself down, but i am also letting my boss and our group down. if i was in a big lab with lots of people then it wouldn�t matter so much, but it�s just the 4 of us, so i can�t really hide behind a large group of people.

so on monday morning i will be in my bosses office, with all my notes and my 2 bits of extra data getting a severe talking to for being so slack. i deserve it i know, but it won�t change my attitude.

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