the other day i painted my first picture. it�s not very good, but that�s not the point. the point is i picked up a brush and allowed myself to �spoil� the white paper. while i hesitated over what to paint and which colours to use, while the brush in my hand hovered over the paper, a small crack appeared in the wall that is blocking my flow. the wall is still up, but with time i hope it will crumble and i look forward to the day when it is a pile of rubble and i have paintings that i am not ashamed or embarrassed to show people. it might happen, it certainly happened with my photography.