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oops i broke it
2004-05-23

donít know why i havenít written since i got back from toronto. itís not like i didnít have anything to say, but i guess i got thrown back into work and the usual cycle.

seeing a and spending 2 very full but very quick days with her, was absolutely wonderful. i donít have the expertise to describe how great it was to be with her. we slipped into our regular rhythm as if we had never spent any time apart. you know itís real when that happens. we got to talk about silly trivial things, the things that will make us giggle the next time we come together. we got to reminisce, we got to talk truthfully and in depth about whatís been going on recently in our lives, the stuff that we just hint at over email and phone conversations. it was just beautiful.

it was also wonderful to travel with someone. every time i have traveled in the last 10 years has been by myself. while i have been extremely fortunate to been able to see many glorious places i always find myself looking around bursting to tell someone my thoughts or at pointing out something that i thought was particularly special or funny. i kinda gets a boring saying to myself, remember when we were in that parisian hostel and your hardcover book fell from the third bunk and clipped everyone sleeping on the bunks below? and remember when we where in washington and kept hearing dogs barking on every street corner but there were none to be seen, and then remember when you leaned against the blue tarp that was next to one of the pedestrian crossings and a ferocious dogs head came out through the tarp scaring the shit out of you?

now i can share things with a about our trip to toronoto. how i found her twiddling her thumbs at the airportís arrival area after my flight had been delayed for five hours. how we nearly broke almost everything we touched so the catch cry for the weekend was Ďoops i broke ití. how we were disappointed with the third largest zoo in the world. how the gorilla enclosure made us both tear up with heavy hearts for the gorillas. how everyone thought we were idiots when we came across a squirrel at the zoo and took photos of it. how we where the oldest people at the dashboard confessional concert by about 15 years. how absolutely enormous and awesome niagara falls is when you are standing on a boat at the bottom of it in your silly blue plastic raincoat being showered by salt water (i never knew it was salt water, i always thought it was fresh water). how to stop myself from crying when i was seeing her off i started to do a tap dance.

i have spent a lot of time alone, and experienced a lot of things on my own but had excepted that, so to be able to share something new with someone, and not just anyone, my bestest friend, made it so much more special. there is someone in my photos now that i recognise.

a is in ottawa now, she wishes i was there, i wish i was there too, but more importantly i wish i was with her. shitty situations are so much easier to deal with and good experiences so much sweeter when you have someone who you respect and love to share them with.

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